Family holidays and joyful anticipation

As I sit in a corner room on the 16th floor of the Palmer House hotel in Chicago, I pause to reflect on the past week in Illinois with my family and look forward to what's ahead.  Liz and I flew into Chicago on Christmas Eve, picked up a rental car at the airport, and headed 3.5 hours south to Sullivan to spend Christmas with my mom.  And although the weather forecast called for some serious snow, not even a flake fell to make it a white Christmas.  But that definitely worked to our advantage with flying and driving.

When we arrived in Sullivan, some of my closest high school friends (Allyson, Sara, and Leslie) came over with their kids, and we got to show off our newest addition, my baby bump :)  It was so wonderful to be surrounded by women I have known essentially since birth and to have them share in the joy and excitement of this moment in time.  It truly was such a gift, and I am so lucky to still be connected to such dear childhood friends.

After staying in Sullivan for Christmas Day, we hopped in the car and drove 4 hours north to Geneseo where we went to see my 95 year-old grandma, Esther, and take her out to a full family Christmas dinner at The Cellar (restaurant).  When we arrived, her room at the nursing home was bare, and she had packed up all of her belongings, including all contents of the drawers, as she said that she has to leave this place and is planning on going to her grandma and grandpa's farm.  It is such a heartbreaking thing to see such a strong, resilient, and self-sufficient woman vascillating in and out of reality and being so frustrated by this that she is ready to be done with this world.  But, then we mentioned that we were all going out for family dinner and that she could have as many beers as she wanted, and she smiled knowing that she would be liberated and fully embraced by her family for a short time.

Dinner with the family was interesting, and I am so thankful to have such an incredibly gracious and loving partner.  Liz keeps me grounded and sane, even when I feel like running out the door.  While it was a lovely dinner, I always find it challenging to be surrounded by those who are related but do not relate in any way.  We announced the news about our expanding family, and I found the response to be quite awkward and somewhat conciliatory instead of the joyful excitement that we have experienced from our New York "family".  And perhaps this was simply my own experience of the moment, but I was certainly ready for the evening to end by the time we were finished with dinner.

After spending the evening with family, we woke up yesterday and drove to Chicago.  Now, we are here for a few more hours and will head back to New York on a 4:40 plane.  While I am truly grateful for having the chance to come back to Illinois and see the family, I am SO ready to be back home!

On Wednesday, we will head up to the house and stay for the transition to the new year.  I am continually counting our blessings and reveling in the remarkable turn that our lives are taking toward new and wonderful adventures.  

Wishing you and all of your loved ones health, happiness, renewal, joy, and all the love that the world has to offer in this new year!  From the expanding Harris-Tenenbaum family to yours ... Happy New Year!

EXPANDING TOGETHER

Expansion is the word of the day.  Metaphorically stretching in new directions, and literally enlarging with each passing day.

For some of you, you've just learned the news that there's a little human growing inside of me.  And while I feel terrible to have kept it a secret for so long, now I'm ready to shout it from the rooftops and tell it to the world.  I want to tell people who sit down next to me on the subway and those who are standing on line with me at the deli... I even find myself resisting the urge to tell people while passing on the sidewalk.  But now, it's becoming undeniably apparent as the buttons on my coat and fabric of my shirts are bursting with the news even before I can say anything.

Along with the exciting news of this lovely new country home that we have acquired, we are also brimming with joy that we will be bringing a baby boy into the world on (or around) May 11, 2015.  We went for our 16-week ultrasound about 3 weeks ago, and felt incredible joy as we watched our boy move, swim, jump, and wiggle inside of my uterus.  We were able to see that all of his parts are there, and everything looks to be in great condition. I've put some first glimpses of our little guy below at 12 weeks and then again at 16 weeks.  Check out that mug!

12 weeks

16 weeks

It's a boy!!

We are now 19 weeks along, and we will return for our next ultrasound on December 30th where we will encounter him again in his expanded form.  Currently, we're told he's about the size of a mango, but 2 weeks from now he's supposed to be as big as a pomegranate.  It's a strange weekly habit I have now of comparing this human being growing inside of me to a colorful fruit.  From the outside it already looks and feels more like he's the size of a ripe honeydew!

So, here we are after our long journey together with a new house and a baby on the way.  And we couldn't be happier.  We are so happy to share all of our expansion with you and hope that you will continue to follow us on our journey through this beautiful new life of ours :)

Feels like home...

We've made it through buying our first home together! After our closing we found a creek in the backyard called Doove Kill. When we there over the fall there was less water and was difficult to see through the leaves and foliage. 

We started moving in last weekend... And so far we adore the house even though we have so many projects to get the place in shape. The house was hand built by the last owner who was known as "Burky". Burky was an artist, woodworker and all around tinkerer. He bought the land and got a backhoe to dig the foundation himself. The house is special because it is handmade and quirky. 

My wonderful cousin Jeremy came and helped us move stuff. We are so lucky to have him as family and a friend too. The three of us had breakfast at the Elizaville Diner on Saturday. While eating pancakes Jeremy looked up and said "Whoa!! Look out the window!" There was a bald eagle flying around the lake outside. We felt very American. Nature is awesome. 

It just feels like home. Waking up there feels not only normal but exactly right. I don't know if I've ever slept better. 

Our bedroom had about 10 ladybugs hanging out on the windows. I've always been told that they are good luck. It's feels like we are VERY LUCKY. 

We'll spend weekends there and I'm already longing to be there all the time. The house is going to be a magical place for us.... Especially for our child. Thank you Burky, we love the home you built. 

Grown-up Decisions

Finding it hard to make time for the important activity of writing about this crucial period in our lives. It's strange how important it feels to write it all down and yet how weeks manage to pass before I come back to it. But here I am. And that's a start.

Since last I wrote, we had an inspection on our charming country house, and while there are no major structural issues at play (thankfully), there are some fairly immediate fixes that need to be handled. We have been in negotiations with the sellers about this and believe that we are coming to a middle ground.  We are very much looking forward to owning this beautiful weekend home but also recognize the stretch that this will be for us. We know that the first 6 months will be all about getting it furnished, renting it out eventually, and getting familiar with all of our monthly costs to add to our budget. Such a grown-up move!

But we are ready for change, movement, growth in the direction of our family. We envision having a child playing in the yard, friends coming stay for BBQ weekends on the deck, our families coming for holidays, and beautifully relaxing weekends of fresh air and whispering trees. 

Yesterday we went to Storm King Art Center with our friends Christine and Christopher and got to spend the day amidst giant metal sculptures forged by human hands surrounded by the stunningly vivid fall landscape of upstate New York in October. It made me certain of our decision to have this home, and I know that one year from this date, as we sit in our backyard with friends around a firepit telling ghost stories, that we will look back wth pride and know that we made a great decision for our family.

The sweet country house front porch

Inside looking out to the back deck

Sitting on a throne of lies

There's a raspberry sized baby inside of Cristina and it's insane how fast the baby is growing. Week 8 starts tomorrow. We  are both so excited. The most difficult thing is NOT TELLING ANYONE WE ARE PREGNANT. Lying is hard! Especially to close friends. We decided not to tell anyone until we reached the 12 week mark and get the results of genetic testing. It's amazing there's a new test simply the blood of the mother will tell if there are chromosomal abnormalities in the child and as a bonus we'll know the sex of the child. So until then we are sort of omitting the biggest thing happening in our lives right now. We feel like it would be too difficult to share our joyous news and then to have something go wrong and have to explain that painful sadness to anyone. 

Miscarriage happens and every week that passes we feel so increbily lucky that our baby is sticking around and growing. The fact is -- so many women go through losing a baby that it's more common than anyone realizes... And so tremdously heartbreaking. 

I also have started to understand the idea of the miracle of life... It's beyond that religious notion and the scientific explanation of how we multiply. The whole conception/gestation is mind blowing. Humans are fascinating. Cells building us to make all of our parts functional plus the spirit and soul of the people we are... Keeps making us wonder who our kid will be? What will they like? What will be important to them and how will they think? Then there's the vain stuff... But this kid has a gorgeous mom, so no doubt it's gonna be cute.

For now we have to pretend we are double agents.... I don't like keeping this secret. And I think some people know because we are so outwardly happy.  Friends keep on asking because they read this blog or know we have started trying to get pregnant. 

The secrets we keep... Part 2

Written September 17, 2014

Tiny fluttering heartbeat ... one of the most miraculous sights I've ever seen. Watching the flickering light inside my uterus on the ultrasound screen brought tears to Liz's eyes and overwhelmed me with gratitude. Today marked 6 weeks and 2 days, and our baby is 4.2 mm in size, complete with neural tube, heart, and cells that are quickly forming all of the organs.  The miracle of intelligent design and the biology behind how these cells just inherently know how to form a human being is so incredible, it almost feels like science fiction.

After our first pregnancy ultrasound, we found ourselves ecstatically hugging and clinging to each other in Whole Foods at Columbus Circle. The excitement of seeing our little nugget for the first time made it all real, and we can't wait for the adventure that lies ahead!

End of Summer Happy House Hunting

Oh, what a beautiful last weekend of summer we had!  In our seemingly never-ending search for a house in the Hudson Valley, we spent both Saturday and Sunday looking at homes. Our Saturday visits were on the west side of the Hudson, with one in Ulster Park and the other in Port Ewen... both locations we know nothing about.  The first house was an old renovated barn with vaulted ceilings and a quirky layout. The exposed wood beams and unique nature of the house lured us in briefly, but then we saw the kitchen. Small kitchen tucked away from the rest of the house and unable to open into a dining or living space. So, this wasn't quite the one. Then, we visited a home in Port Ewen that was adorable but was located on a double yellow road, which is a deal breaker for us. 

So, we finished the day and headed to our friend Joey's house to stay for the night. He graciously let's us stay there even when he is not, so we got the key and entered the house to find a power outage. We lit candles, and when Liz called the power company it turns out that a car ran into a telephone pole and knocked out the transformer only minutes earlier on the same road we just drove. We heard sirens as we entered the house, and while having no power for a bit was a bit of an inconvenience, we were incredibly grateful to have missed that accident. But within a few hours the power was on, and we had a great fire going in the wood burning stove to keep us warm. 

On Sunday, we returned to Athens (the site of the accepted offer debacle) to see a beautiful Victorian home in the village. While it's significantly above our original price range, we both really like it and felt like it has everything we've been looking for. After this successful visit, we went to see another house that was quite the opposite. It's located in a more "country" setting with a beautiful yard, trees all around, and no house across the street or right next door. With 4 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms, it's a great size, and the layout is open and clean, which feels like a perfect country home. It's walkng distance from a swimming lake and a short drive to Taghanic State Park with lots of hiking and beauty. It's also not too far from Red Hook, Tivoli, and Hudson (about 25 minutes). 

We couldn't believe our luck!  Two houses in one day that make us both equally excited. That never happens!  So, moving forward, our hope is that one of these two places becomes our first home together (weekend home), and that you can come visit next summer.  Fingers crossed😊 

Back yard shot of Athens house

Back deck shot of country house

Neighbors to the north

Montreal Street art by Parisian artist Kashink.

September already!!?? Oh where does the time go? 

We drove up to Montreal over Labor Day to spend the weekend with our friend Eric and explore the city. Eric rented an apartment for the month of August in Montreal's gay village to work on his second novel. (His writing is great btw. He  also has a column on the Wall Street Journal online called crtl alt.) 

It was Cristina's first time to Canada. I think overall a great introduction. Mainly we traversed the city by bixi - the Canadian version of our bike sharing program citibike. A fun and easy way to get around. Much safer than biking in NYC.

We went to the fantastic food market Jean Talon, the botanical gardens and insectarium, thrift store shopping, a street fair on Mont Royal, a fancy cocktail bar called the Lab (bartenders did fire shows), walked over 17 miles in a day, climbed up Mount Royal to see the view at sunset and got a little lost on our way down in the dark, ate; poutine, bagels, fromage, ground cherries, and KOUIGN AMANN (as many pieces as we could handle eating).

It was a good getaway for us.

A perfect place to have a seat... At the Montreal botanical garden. I look legless!

Eric shows off his new El Suave sperm underpants. Yes these were for sale at the street fair.

Our new obsession Kouign Amann - Basically a French (Briton) butter and sugar pastry, way better than a Croissant.

POUTINE!

at the Jean Talon Market. C'est magnifique

Montreal Bagels! Yes there is a large Jewish community here and their bagels are a lighter version on NY style.

In the lobby of Pierre Du Calvet, a quirky hotel dating back to 1725

There are many talking parrots in the lobby of the hotel.

These babies were at the insectarium. Ask me about my experience with a Rhinoceros beetle sometime, if you want to see me relive a tramatic memory.

50 cakes for your love by Kashink

Family Composition

Composing music ...

Sometimes it happens through a process of inspiration, where it feels almost like the music has been divinely gifted to the composer, while at other times it happens through structured time built in specifically to create something new and beautiful. Regardless of the method, compositions come together and form in unexpected ways such that when the listener finally hears it, they are moved in ways that nothing else can inspire.

Family composition can be a similar process. For instance, in our visit to Western Massachusetts this weekend we got to meet my friends' Cherry and AJ's two boys, who are in their care through the foster system. Their journey with fostering started 9 months ago with a 4 year-old little boy named J, who came to them with angry and aggressive behaviors (kicking, biting, punching, throwing objects), a mouthful of rotten teeth, no verbal abilities, and years of neglect. Their plan was to provide him a home while another one was lined up for him. But sometimes connection happens and divine intervention strikes. Because even in the face of all of the angry behaviors and the dentist visits and the daily appointments to doctors and therapists, Cherry and AJ fell in love with J. He inspired them to see a possibility that they hadn't seen before, and now that his mother's rights are up for termination, they are excited about the possibility if having J as part of their permanent family. By the way, in the past 9 months he has stopped the aggressive behaviors almost entirely and is the sweetest little LoveBug who likes to explore and talk (even though we may not understand what he's saying).  And just 2 months ago they provided respite care for a 14 year-old boy who had been kicked out of his previous foster home, and this time AJ heard the music. She knew that he had to come live with them, and as it turns out, she was right!  Now, they will go to court in early September and the court will decide if he is able to return to his home, but it's highly unlikely. So, if he chooses, then they will be his new family from now until the end of time. So, inspiration struck, they are listening to their hearts, and their lives (and the lives of these boys) are forever changed by this new composition.

It was music. And it was a new family they didn't even expect, but here it is 9 months later and they couldn't be happier. 

We, on the flip side, are working diligently to compose something beautiful, and it's taking lots of focused effort, plenty of patience, and an acute tuning to the harmony that we must create together in this process.  On Monday morning we returned to Columbia, and it was time for our third insemination.  There was a long wait in between our last try and this one, due to some hiccups along the way.  Since I got the HSG, I forgot that I needed to go back into the office to get an ultrasound and prescription for a fertility drug to help my follicles grow.  Once I missed that window, then I went away for a week to Colorado for work.  So, I assumed that we just had to miss the cycle.  But, as I wrote in our last post, my non-ovulatory body was good fortune on this try because we were able to get the prescription for Letrozol and make my body ovulate on our schedule.  The Letrozol worked well and made my follicles grow like it was meant to do.  While away this weekend, I shot myself up with Ovidrel to induce ovulation, and then in we went on Monday.

As we waited for almost 2.5 hours in the waiting room at Columbia, and then once we were in the room waiting for the insemination to happen, I was thinking how much time and effort we are putting into this process and how much this child will know it is wanted and loved.  Aren't many of the greatest compositions labors of love?  Don't some of the most beautiful pieces of music take years to perfect and compose so that they will fit just perfectly together?  Well, that's what is happening with our family composition.  We are putting in the work now, and (s)he is just waiting in the wings to hear the perfect melody before making her grand entrance.  But, seriously, don't be a DIVA!  Get here as soon as you can :)

Tubes are open... full speed ahead!

Good news this morning!  We went for another Hysterosalpingogram (HSG) test this morning, and it was determined that both fallopian tubes are open and ready for business.  So, hopefully, if the Letrozole does it's job within the next couple of days, we will be trying our 3rd insemination next week.

A lovely way to start a weekend :)

Ovulate Schmovulate!

Giant rainbow trout was caught by the novice angler Cristina Harris on August 2nd at Piney ranch, Colorado!

This was just one headline of last week's excursion to Colorado. I was in Denver from Sunday to Thursday for a training, and on Thursday night I joined Liz at a beautiful home in a resort area in the mountains. The smell of the fresh air, the feeling of the sunshine on my face, the sweet mountain breeze, and the company of my favorite person were the perfect end to a week spent alone staying in a less-than-luxury hotel.  Although I did get to visit the Denver Botanic Gardens while there to view the Chihuly blown glass sculpture exhibit, and it was spectacular. Here are a couple pics to prove it!

Being away temporarily took my mind off the difficulties of figuring out timing barriers to insemination. We knew that my training was going to fall right when I should be ovulating, and when you're going the route we're taking there are multiple monitoring appointments to get a good look at the follicles, increase any medication dosages if necessary, and then inseminate at the first sign of ovulation.  We weren't able to get the prescription for Letrozole (to help my follicles grow) before I left for Colorado, which was frustrating because I tried but it hasn't been pre-authorized with my insurance company by my doctors. So, off I went to Colorado feeling like we had missed our opportunity because I figured that might body might ovulate on its own while I was away. Well, it didn't, so here's what happened...

Upon returning, I went to Columbia on Tuesday for an ultrasound to see what was really going on in there, and for better or worse, my body still refuses to ovulate on its own. And while this is frustrating in some respects, it actually works in our favor in others. Because I don't ovulate (due to PCOS), I am not tied to the tight schedule of cycles that most other women are. Since I had no follicle growth and my uterine lining was still thin, Dr. Ruddick (our favorite doctor) prescribed Letrozole for me and said that I could start that night. After a round of 5 days, I will go back in, get ovulation triggered using Ovidrel (a shot I give myself in the belly), and then return the next day for insemination. All of this to say that we didn't have to miss a cycle thanks to my crazy, rule-breaking body. 

But before we inseminate for the third time, we are going tomorrow to have another HSG done to see if my left Fallopian tube is blocked. In my first HSG in February, it showed up in the scan that my tube looked a bit pinched but they couldn't be sure if that meant there was blockage or if it was just a muscle spasm in reaction to the catheterization procedure. So, now we're gonna find out once and for all if those little swimmers have a working tunnel to my uterus or if we will have to provide them with an alternative route. 

And here's hoping that this procedure doesn't have the same effect as the last one in February when I blacked out at the dentists' office following the HSG and was almost taken away in an ambulance.   Fingers crossed!

So, here we are. Hopeful. Wishing. Wanting. Waiting. And loving each other through it all. Liz continues to love me through my emotional roller coaster of excitement, frustration, anger, hope, fear, and everything in between. And that feels like everything right now😊

New Jersey = My Land of the Lost

Seems we are still in holding pattern with pregnancy cycles. Waiting to see if Cristina will have another HSG test to determine if a tube is blocked and If we will change drugs. She has a great career opportunity to be trained in Denver next week, so it may complicate this cycle due to timing. While we don't want to miss a chance, we do have unavoidable things that arise... It's the way it goes. 

On Saturday night we took my cousin Jeremy and his wife Clare to see a New York Red  Bulls soccer match in Harrison, New Jersey. It was our 40th birthday gift to Jeremy from back in march. It was a quite a commute on the Path train. Took us about 2 + hours door to door. While we headed to the game we talked about what it would be like to live in New Jersey. Cristina's aunt Laurie has a business in Jersey City and she always encouraging us to look at real estate there. After living in Brooklyn for 16 years I don't think NJ is going to feel like home. I'd explore more but I just can't see living there. By the way Harrison is a weird place, desolate except for the stadium -- but of course there's condo buildings in mid construction in close proximity to the stadium. The game was a lot of fun and there was a fireworks display afterwards. Pretty impressive. 

Sunday we used out new wheels to again go to New Jersey! Twice in a weekend??? Yes. We decided to hike in palisades park along the cliffs and shores of the Hudson River. The views of northern Bronx, Spuyten Duyvil and Riverdale up past Yonkers are lovely. 

We thought we had our route all set. Cristina picked a 5 mile hike from Alpine picnic area up the cliffs to see the old foundations of the estates which are long gone now that the area is a park. 

Well we thought that was the hike we were on... But something wasn't adding up. We couldn't find the trailhead. We asked around and got pointed in one direction and started off. After about 4 miles we didn't see anything that resembled the description of the hike. We just kept on hiking looking for the next connecting trail to get us back to our car. Good thing the weather was excellent... Because we started our hike in englewood, about 6 miles south of where we were supposed to start!! We hiked about 10 miles and ended up in the parking lot of alpine picnic area, 6 miles north of where our car was. It's somehow true, the only place I've been lost the world has been in New Jersey. Foot or car doesn't matter. All I can figure is this has to do bad and lacking signage.

Considering we were tired of walking about 4 hours and hungry... For the second time in our 5.5 years as a couple we hitchhiked. (The first time was in Italy). I asked an older man with a long white beard plus 8 year old grandson for a ride to our car. They kindly obliged. If you ever need to hitchhike try to find someone with a child. They are less likely to hurt you. 

Cristina got us a groupon for this crazy Korean mega spa called King Spa in Palisades... The reason we went to NJ to hike. The spa was pure bliss after our very long trek. Boy did we need it! We were so relaxed after a few hours we both fell asleep in lazy boy recliners. A good end to the weekend. 

The Voice of NO

Her voice on the other end of the phone was so light and hopeful, "Hello, can I speak to Cristina Harris?"  I knew who was calling and was feeling encouraged by her tone of voice.  She stated her name, which I don't remember now and that she was calling from Dr. McConnell's office at Columbia. Her tone conveyed that perhaps there was some good news, exciting and life-changing news, ahead but then she said, "I'm sorry... Blah, blah, blah," and the smallest bit of hope that I had for this try was gone. The air left my heart, and I felt deflated. I squatted in the hallway at work, looking at the brown carpet, elevators, and long corridor of beige walls wondering why the universe just continues to fuck with us. It made me question everything. What am I doing?  Why am I not traveling more and having more adventures?  Why, if this is so hard, would I feel the need to bear a child of my own when there are so many unwanted babies who would be lucky to have me as a mom?  If this isn't it, then what's the big change that's going to happen in my life to move me forward?  Questioning. Everything.   

And then, as the day was coming to a close after receiving this news, I had to have a phone call with THE MOST angry, aggressive, irritating, and irascible woman I have ever met. She voiced complaint about everything, felt that she and others have been wronged, refused to listen to my explanation of how I planned to help support a fully-inclusive process, and talked over me as if nothing I said had any value.  This a professional woman whose role requires daily interaction with families. She is the co-chair of a group for which I am responsible, and yet she is truly one of the most ignorant and incompetent people I have ever met. So, by the time I got off the phone, my whole body was shaking, and my co-workers commended me on how calm and collected I remained in the face of an obviously frustrating phone call. They turned their chairs around to provide support and allow me to vent, while also giving me guidance and reassuring me that I managed someone who is historically difficult with diplomacy and finesse. This makes me incredibly thankful to be working in an environment where people care about me, believe in me, and are truly kind. It's such a refreshing change of pace.  And it's what we all deserve. 

And after all this, I left work and headed to our weekly couples therapy appointment. Our therapist was away last week, so we had A LOT to talk about. It was such a relief to have time and space to just share all that's going on for us and process it together. Although I am questioning the universe and feeling the incredible frustration of not moving forward more quickly, I am forever grateful to have Liz by my side through it all. I can't imagine riding this roller coaster with anyone else. 

T minus 3 hours

Blood drawn. 

No period

                          Sitting in my office chair like nothing is stirring inside my heart.          

         .....Waiting and hoping.... 

                             ....Waiting and planning for the next cycle of trying... 

                   Waiting and wishing that the waiting would stop.

Our 2-week action-packed journey

Family.  Celebration of life. California. Florida. 2-week waiting period. Evening in Savannah. New car.  Roadtrip up the eastern seaboard.  And the adventures of Cowboy Spike and his trusty horse, Sparky... A quick summary of the last 10 days in the life of Liz and Cristina.

This has been an action-packed couple weeks, starting with our second insemination 2 weeks ago yesterday.  We'll be returning to Columbia on Monday to find out the results, but until then, I remain confused about what's happening in my body.  It could be that the light cramps that I'm feeling mean that I'll shed my uterine lining within the next couple days and the question will be answered, but instead of coming on time, it's making us wait.  Waiting to see if there might be the seed of a new life stirring within or if we'll need to keep trying.  Only time will tell.

Last week we ventured to Northern California for a beautiful 70th birthday celebration for Liz's father, Dan.  The whole family was there, including our adorable 3 nephews.  The morning after we arrived, Mason (4 years old), walked around the house early in the morning with excitement and then returned to his mom, Catherine, and reported that the WHOLE family was sleeping in the house - Grumpus (grandpa) and Mamer (grandma); Uncle Joe, Aunt Katie, and their baby, Henry; Aunt Lizzie and Aunt Cristina from New York; Cousin Melissa from Texas; and his mom, dad, and little brother, Elliott.  What a wonderful surprise for Mason to have every family member together under one roof!

    Mason and Henry ... Superhero cousins hangin' out

We spent time preparing the house, shopping for groceries, and making sure everything was just right for the big party.  And when his 4th of July birthday rolled around, this party was such a spectacular representation of how much love is in the Tenenbaum family!  While it got crazy at times, there's no doubt that Susan (Liz's mom) goes above and beyond at all times to ensure everyone feels the love.  It was an amazing party with more than 80 people showing up at the Tenenbaum home to celebrate Dan ... and his smile was proof that he would never forget his 70th birthday.

   Cousin Melissa, Liz, and Liz's mom, Susan ... strong genetics, huh?

Three days after returning from California, we hopped on a plane for Florida.  When we thought we would be buying the home in Athens, my mom generously offered to give us her car so that we could drive back and forth on the weekends to enjoy our new home.  So, we booked a one-way flight to Florida with the plan to drive the car back to NYC.  Well, even though the house didn't work out, we now have a beautiful white Toyota Camry that drives like a dream, and we're in mid-roadtrip up the east coast... in South Carolina, to be exact.

    A little fun on Englewood Beach in Florida

    The humble beginnings of the story of Cowboy Spike and his trusty horse, Sparky.     

    It all started on a Florida beach at sunset.

We spent last night in Savannah, Georgia and enjoyed an awesome dinner with drinks at The Olde Pink House.  We had the most delicious shrimp and grits we had ever tasted, along with crab cakes, seared scallops, and some fried green tomatoes, all while listening to a piano player singing classics in a candlelit underground bar.  It was perfect!!  Then, we wondered through the historic district drooling over all of the beautifully-built 19th century homes, wishing we could transport some of them to a countryside location in the Hudson Valley where we would enjoy weekends for years to come.  Soon enough.  Soon enough.

   Adorable home in North Historic District of Savannah

As we've been on this journey, we've also been tracking the adventures of a Lego cowboy and his horse from Florida all the way to Brooklyn, and sending pictures and the story of their journey via text message to our nephew, Mason.  He's sending videos back to Cowboy Spike, and last night he pointed straight into the camera and said, "Stop eating so much candy, Cowboy Spike!"  It's adorable and makes me wonder how his brain is processing the stories of these adventures.

    Cowboy Spike and the largest candy apples in the world... he had three!

Awaiting all the wonders that lie ahead, I can't help but feel so grateful for all we have and hopeful for all that's to come.  My horoscope said that July would be the best month of the year, and that all of the waiting that's happened in the beginning of this year would be made worth it.  So, bring it on!  We are ready for a new chapter to begin.

   Cristina and baby Elliott ... I think it's love <3

Splendid Summer Solstice ... and then a week of surprises!

 Oooooweeee!  It has been quite a week. Let's start with the weekend and then proceed from there, as it gets more complicated. Liz and I had planned to spend the day of Summer Solstice (Saturday) on Fire Island because last year we made a day trip out of it, and it was magical. As our luck would have it, a friend of ours who has a house on Fire Island offered for us to stay the night, and we were elated.  Our friends Ellie and Tamika were able to join us, and we spent a glorious two days on Fire Island (a gay mecca with no cars and beautiful beaches). We grilled veggies, chicken, and corn on the cob and enjoyed dinner outside in the deck on Saturday. We spent lots of time on the beach, got to swim in a heated pool, and watched the best drag show you'll ever see by the pool at the Ice Palace. Tamika even got involved by joining in the modeling contest, which required each contestant to strut around the pool while being bad-mouthed by the drag queens. Quite a sight!

As we returned on Monday, we were feeling blissed out until we got a call from our real estate agent stating that there was another offer on the house, even though we had an accepted offer. The seller wanted BEST and HIGHEST bids by Tuesday at 6:00, and we were not allowed to have any information about the nature of the other bid. So, in our frustration and anger (it just seemed so unfair), we upped our offer and felt like we might be okay. Wednesday morning we got a call that the seller had chosen the other offer... We lost the house😞.  All day Wednesday we were both devastated, sad, and angry. But then, by Thursday, we had decompressed a bit and were able to rally our spirits back up.

Strangely, on the same day we found out we were outbid, we also received good news at Columbia that my follicles were growing and one was at 18mm. Once the follicle reaches 22-23 mm it's time to ovulate, so it was good news because they've been a bit slow to grow. We were told to monitor my possible ovulation at home with test strips each night and then come back when I was ovulating.

Well, as it turns out, I started ovulating on Thursday night and was scheduled to facilitate a training on Friday morning at 9:00 a.m. on the Brooklyn College campus, which is at least an hour commute from Columbia (fertility clinic).  So, I had to re-adjust and ask for a last-minute replacement for my first training session, and then take over for the second part of the day.  Ovulation is a short window of time, and my eggs wait for no one... so, off we went to Columbia on Friday morning for our second insemination.  It just so happens that it's also the start to PRIDE weekend here in NYC, so this just might be the perfect time to conceive a SUPER GAYBY :)

As with the first round, we are hopeful but we are also keeping our expectations low, knowing that this process could take a while for us.  And, if we happen to get pregnant this time, it will feel like a huge bonus!  So, we're thinking lots of positive baby thoughts and sending lots of love to that little one who is waiting in the wings.  When she's ready to take the stage, it will be all hers!

Casa Esperanza

We have fallen in love... With a house! After 9+ months of looking at homes upstate we found a house we love in the Hudson River town of Athens, NY. This is the second home we have made an offer on, but this time the seller accepted our offer (and this time we know we want to buy this home). This past weekend we were upstate staying in Marbletown at the home of our lovely friends Bart & Joey. They have a such a great home and land with a little pond and pasture. We've been so lucky to stay there and I think our first visit made us think about buying real estate upstate.

Lola loves her visits Upstate

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Lola & Billie lounging at Joey & Bart's

 

I was always of the mind set that we should buy in NYC or move. Our minds shifted drastically over the last three years as the real estate market here has gone totally bonkers. We can't afford a two bedroom anyplace in the boroughs, especially not in Brooklyn. Getting a mortgage as a self employed person is no easy task and then the competition is crazy on what little inventory the housing market has currently. Because we both love our city and my business keeps me here, we are rooted here. Commuting from upstate daily isn't an option but we yearn for something that has green space. Which brings us to our current situation and best solution. We are buying a home for the weekends.

While we are nervous about affording our rent, the house and the baby we hope to make, its time to stretch and invest in our sanity.

We had the house inspected over the weekend. The results were pretty positive for a very old historic home. I will not post more until we secure our mortgage and have a closing date BUT this is what is consuming our thoughts. We look at the pictures of the house everyday. That's how in love we are.

In follicle news... No growth yet. We are still waiting. Had a sonogram at Columbia today with our favorite doctor. We return next week to see if there is growth or if Cristina has to switch meds. Patience is more than a virtue.

I'm watching a man practice rock climbing in Central Park on the boulders at the south end of the park. It's maybe a 7 ft wall at max. Funny how we can make a challenge out of even the smallest rocks.